Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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