i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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