explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
