i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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