a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
