You work out of a Hotel?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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