it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
