One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
