hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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