It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
