I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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