i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Umm I'm too high to move.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The air was thick with penises
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
