I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
