I think I won the penis lottery.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
