he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
