It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
