Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We left the knife in your bed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
