All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
