He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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