i don't like sucking hair
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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