ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
