Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize