this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
