If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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