I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
