I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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