addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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