You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
