Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
