New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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