nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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