Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
