OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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