My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
