im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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