You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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