i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
