He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
