I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
