nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
