I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just google imaged poop.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize