can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
In America we eat man semen.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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