you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
