She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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