If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
