I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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