We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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