I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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