what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
