I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
