4 words: hood of his car
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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