I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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