At least make sure they are 18
Why
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
