what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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