I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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