I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
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