guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
